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Tell Me How to Be ⁽ᴴᵃʳᵈᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ ᴮᴼᴼᴷ⁾ by Neel Patel

Tell Me How to Be (Hardcover)


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Renu Amin seemed to have it all: a devoted husband, a lovely home, and two healthy sons. Renu is binge-watching soap operas and boiling with past resentments as the first anniversary of her husband's death approaches. She can't help but wonder if she made the wrong decision thirty-five years ago. Her son, Akash, has everything he ever wanted in Los Angeles, but he is haunted by the tragic memories he fled a decade ago as he tries to launch his musical career and commit to his boyfriend. Akash returns to Illinois when his mother informs him that she is selling the family house, wanting to finally say goodbye and move on.

Renu and Akash pack up the house together, retreating deeper into the mysteries that separate them. Renu sends an innocent Facebook message to the man she almost married, setting off an emotional affair that brings everything she thought she knew about herself into question. As he confronts his darkest secrets, including what truly happened between him and the first boy who destroyed his heart, Akash reverts to old habits. Renu and Akash must choose between the lives they left behind and the ones they've subsequently made, between making each other happy and setting themselves free when their pasts catch up with them.

Tell Me How to Be is about our early betrayals and the cost of healing, by turns snarky and tender and infused with the beats of '90s R&B. But above all, it's a love story about a mother and her kid, who are both striving to figure out who they are in the world. 


Product details: Tell Me How to Be


  • Author : Neel Patel
  • Language : English
  • ISBN : 1250184975
  • ISBN-13 : 9781250184979
  • Number of pages : 336 pages
  • Publisher : Flatiron Books
  • Date of Publication : December 7, 2021






About the authors: Neel Patel


Neel Patel
Neel Patel grew up in Champaign, Illinois, as a first-generation Indian American. His short stories have been published in Nerve.com, The Southampton Review, Indiana Review, The American Literary Review, and Hyphen Magazine. He is currently working on a novel in Los Angeles. His debut, If You See Me, Don't Say Hello, is his first novel.










Reviews: Tell Me How to Be

"This work is immersive, sensual, and graceful on the surface, even as its depths throb with profound sadness and loss."  ―Mahesh Rao, author of Polite Society

Neel Patel's engrossing debut novel offers a story that is at times amusing, at times unsettling, and, by the end, profoundly moving. Tell Me How to Be delves into the costly cost of secrets, deception, and regret, as well as the healing potential of telling one's truth. "Patel's short chapters, extremely engaging style, and ability to keep upping the stakes for his complex characters kept me turning pages late at night." A debut to remember. "  ―Stephen McCauley, author of My Ex-Life

Tell Me How to Be is a wonderful narrative about family, first love, and figuring out your position in the world. Neel's writing is honest, genuine, and enjoyable. This book offers a unique viewpoint on difficult family relationships, something that everyone can relate to.  ―Lilly Singh, #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Be a Bawse

Tell Me How to Be is a passionate and seductive love song of a book, a sharp and sharply humorous celebration of the universal messiness of desire and the importance of getting clean first with ourselves. Through the book's painstaking unraveling of the past, I laughed out loud at Renu's prickliness and cried for Akash. "Patel has created an outstanding duet between mother and son in this investigation of identity through yearning and loss, as well as the long-term effects of denial."  ―Nancy Jooyoun Kim, New York Times bestselling author of The Last Story of Mina Lee

Tell Me How to Be is audacious, funny, tragic, and impossible to put down. " "Neel Patel is a fantastic storyteller!" says the author.  ―Deesha Philyaw, author of The Secret Lives of Church Ladies

Every now and then, a book comes along that reminds us why we read: to feel, question, and grow. That book is this one. An ode to R&B, youth, and the incomparable agonies of first love. You'll be crying and crushed by the emotional honesty of this indelibly depicted family and their tumultuous life. From now on, I'll read whatever Neel Patel writes. "  ―Susie Yang, New York Times bestselling author of White Ivy

"[A] magnificent debut... Patel deftly navigates the perilous terrain of abandoned dreams, family feuds, and cultural disputes before delivering a powerful catharsis for mother and son. The end outcome is impressive and memorable. "  ―Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"A hilarious, bittersweet story of a mother and her son dealing with grief and moving on from the past together."  ―PopSugar

Readers who appreciated Nadia Hashimi's Sparks Like Stars and Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections will enjoy similar convoluted family dynamics and the need to read between the lines to figure out what's being said. "I strongly advise anyone concealing secrets from their relatives to read this book."  ―ALA Rainbow Round Table

"Generous and heartfelt..." It'd make a perfect last-minute holiday gift for any son to give a mother, and read it for themselves, too. " As enveloping and warm as a long-overdue hug from a loved one, and written in accessible, dynamic prose, it'd make a perfect last-minute holiday gift for any son to give a mother, and read for themselves, too. "  ―Chicago Review of Books

At its heart, this novel is a love story about a recently bereaved mother and her grown son going through the motions of selling the family home, both attempting to figure out how to best make the other happy while learning to accept their faults and each other.  ―Reader’s Digest

"All the necessary ingredients are present in this debut novel about an Indian-American family: family secrets, love, sexuality, loss, identity concerns, and regret."  ―Good Morning America

"Patel's self-assured debut should be on your radar if you like stories about families coming to terms with long-held secrets."  ―Harper’s Bazaar


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